1. I was waiting for the bus one day in a rather flamboyant part of Seattle and a girl (bout 20) came by and waved a fairy wand over me and my friend’s head and said that she was showering us with sprinkles of love.
2. I was waiting for the bus one day when a man came by and commented on my Toms and asked why my ankle had a ring around it (it was the sock indentation that you sometimes have shortly after taking off your socks) and then he politely asked to see the inside of my shoe. At which point he started breathing heavily and touching my foot. I told him to stop and had to move awkwardly backward to avoid him when I got unfortunately too close to a homeless looking man’s bag. Who proceeded to kick me in the ass.
3. I was on the bus one day when I looked over at a couple. The girl had begun giving the guy a mini bath out of her water bottle. She decided to keep the last 1/8 of the bottle for later in case of cotton mouth. They then made out hardcore for a bit before she popped a pimple on the guy’s back and then started making out again.
4. I was on the bus with a friend who forgot that the sun rises in the east not the west when a man in a dress and a blue wig stood next to us and recited “helpful” poetry about the sun.
Vampire people. Route from Everett-Seattle mid-morning. Poking each other with needles and drinking from each other. True story.
Everett to Seattle, Washington
I’ve got a funny ferry story for you. I wasn’t present for this, but I’ve been told it a few times.
The motorcycle club I ride with was heading towards Bremerton for a ride. They had lined up and waited for the ferry to arrive. Motorcycles always line up at the front and are the first to board the ferry. They were standing around waiting to the boarding announcement, and they took their helmets off. Well, one of the guys left his helmet sitting on the back of his bike when they were told to board. He started riding, and his helmet fell off the bike. Unfortunately, there were quite a few bikes behind him and one hit the helmet. That bike crashed, took out another bike. And then another rider jumped off his bike to help, but forgot to set his kickstand and dropped his bike. So, the first rider didn’t know any of this was going on and just kept riding, and there was a trail of bike carnage left in his path. He still gets crap for that to this day.
I feel like it is only fair to share a short list of a few of the weird or awesome bus stories I have to break the ice, so here it goes!
1. Definitely saw a man take off his shoes AND one sock on the bus and start pumice-ing his bare, rather nasty-looking foot right there on the bench. He got into an amazing argument with one of the other riders, and eventually the driver. Later he opted to get off a stop early.
2. A morbidly obese woman with a small, shivering Chihuahua brought homemade biscotti and passed them out on one of my late-night rides home.
3. Watched a skateboarder try to ollie into the bus and biff it face-first into the change acceptor. THAT required a phone call to 911 and caused the bus to be late. Jerk.
4. Saw woman stand up and sing the entire American National Anthem on a ride to downtown, then she sat down and started reading a book like nothing had happened, despite the applause and whistles she got.
No helmet + train tracks = bad times